Scared of Spinal Surgery!

Nothing going on right now. I am trying to prepare my mindset for this surgery! I am scared SHI*LESS! Sounds like it is going to hurt. Although I am also optimistic too! I am getting so fat from this lack of exercise(and boredom) I can hardly wait to be active again. God! do I miss it! I miss having fun with the kids and shopping without pain. I'm scared of it all but also I can hardly wait to get it over with! I'm not looking forward to getting back to work though!!!LOL Only the money part cause I am getting so broke and the sick pay I am recieving is such a pain in the butt...they are always putting me underreview and stopping the payment so that I go months with out money comming in. It's work that won't let me back in...that should settle it you would think!!!!! Just pay me!!!!!! for crying out loud! I've worked there 13 years you think that would count for something. I have certainly put in enough hours to be able to recieve the freaking sick pay!!!!! What a bunch of JERKS!!!!! If they don't do me right after this surgery and all this crap I have been through I am going to get some aid from a Lawyer. I think it is only in my best interest to do so. Although by then I will have to find one that will ask for their fee after winning the case....I'll be destitute by then